Loving Jesus And This Imperfect Life

she fell in love with all that life had to offer.

so i'm going to be vulnerable here for a little bit. i just finished my freshman year of college. i definitely had my wins and losses these past 10 months. the semester i struggled with the most was my spring semester. i was trying to recover my gpa from the fall, changed my major, had some not-so-good professors, and went through something in my life i never want to go through again. this summer, i also took a 6 week science course with another not-so-good professor (just my luck). i would for sure say that i was not happy with my life and where it was going. my mind was at a constant worry and stress. my heart was not full of any kind of love, but full of anger and sadness. i focused so hard on what i thought i wanted that i lost sight on what i thought i deserved. i begged for Jesus to make a change in my life. take people away who are hurting me. take away the negative thoughts. take away the distractions and the pain. I tell you this, Jesus sure does have a marvelous way of showing us His glory and promises by the power of prayer.

a few weeks ago, my family and i were making some fun stuff for my aunts baby shower. as we were all sitting and talking, my grandma told us about this song that she had heard and how much she loves it. she said she dances in the living room at night with my aunt's big dog and spins around so much that she gets dizzy.

-her and the dog looked like this, LOL

she said she just loves that song and it makes her so happy. so i decided to listen to it. i listened the first time and thought it was a good song, but a few verses really stuck out to me, so i listened to it again. after the second time, the verses stuck out to me even more, so i listen to it a third time. after the third time, i said to Jesus, "You are amazing." The song is called Even If, by Mercy Me.

The 3 different verses that stuck out to my are:

They say sometimes you win some Sometimes you lose some And right now, right now I'm losing bad

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I know You're able and I know You can Save through the fire with Your mighty hand But even if You don't My hope is You alone

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They say it only takes a little faith To move a mountain Well good thing A little faith is all I have, right now But God, when You choose To leave mountains unmovable Oh give me the strength to be able to sing It is well with my soul

*how i felt after reading these verses again*

in the first verse, i thought to myself, man this is me right now. i just feel i'm losing bad. for the longest time i was filled with hate. it is hard to see the light when you feel your world is surrounded my darkness. i said, Lord, i am angry. Lord i am sad. Lord my mind is consumed of unholy thoughts, and I need Your help.

in the second verse, i thought to myself, Lord, no matter how bad things are going in my life right now, i know that You are still good. things are going to happen in life, and people are going to fail you. but it's ok. it's ok to forgive someone and ask Jesus for forgiveness.

Psalms 100:5 says, "For The Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations."

when we go through those hard times, we have to learn to still give God the glory. He is the healer. He can fix any broken situation, but that doesn't always mean He will. as hard as that is to hear, Jesus does not give instant answers. that certain particular situation could be meant for something far more greater. something that needs to be given to God to soften our hearts more.

in the third verse, i asked God to give me strength. i learned to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. God will give us unmovable mountains in life. God will give us the uneasy and battles.

But Matthew 17:20 says, He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

this moment was so special for me because i cried out to Jesus so many times. i repeatedly said, "Lord where are you?" in His right timing, out of the unexpected, Jesus said to me, "My daughter, I have been here the whole time."

the moment you experience a different kind of love from Jesus is a moment hard to describe, and hard to come by. when you do come across this moment though, Jesus will leave you speechless.

*me when i saw what Jesus was doing*

looking back from the beginning of my spring semester to now, i ask myself, "what is different?" the answer is i love Jesus and this imperfect life. _____________________________________________________________________________________

i leave you with this:

1. start each day with a grateful heart.

God loves for us to be happy as His children. He shows us love in a thousand ways every single day. Embrace each person that you meet, because we don’t know where or when we will find Jesus in them. love where you have been, where you are, and where you are going.

be better than yesterday. learn to love life and be graciously happy. be humble.

John 10:10 says, "His love gives life. I came so that you may have life and have it more abundantly."

2. love others as Jesus loves you

unconditional love is loving someone without limitations. do something to make someone happy without the thought of what you will get back in return. it is uncommon receiving a love without strings attached. this kind of love includes risks and willingness. it's putting our own needs and pride behind us.

Romans 12:9-10 says, "Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection. And take delight in honoring each other."

3. don't put prayer on the back burner.

prayer is a type of unconditional love. especially when we pray for our enemies. for the longest time, i put prayer on the back burner. i thought it was something that i did routinely every night. but, God only gives three answers to prayer:

1. yes

2. not yet

3. I have something better in mind

prayer is your outlet. know that you have someone who is listening. God loves everything you have to tell Him, whether you are excited or complaining. when times are stressful, Jesus is there to help you.

4. love Jesus with your whole heart

a verse that floods my whole heart with happiness;

You are loved more than you will ever know by someone who died to know you.

-Romans 5:8

-a girl who is in love with life and The Lord is invincible.-